We drew straws
by TamaraJagellovsk
Summary: Daniel said they drew straws. So neither of his team mates really felt like talking to him? SG-1 are dealing with the fall out of "Shades of Grey".
1. Chapter 1

**This was part of my latest CoC chapter originally, but then I realized I want this to go somewhere else. And yes I know that I already _have_ two stories about this ep. But I can't help it, it's one of my favorites. Beta'd as always by the lovely ebineez01.**

~o0o~

SG-1 were sitting in the briefing room. Hammond had already dismissed them when the colonel looked at him.

"Uh sir if I may?"

"Sure Jack, go ahead."

"I'd like a word with my team sir if you don't mind."

George didn't envy his 2IC. He knew what that mission had taken out of O'Neill. He'd fought him with everything he had when he was told not to let the rest of his team in on the nature of that mission. And yet he had to give in and follow orders in the end, keeping the people he trusted most out of the loop because the higher ups – and their allies – thought it was the best course of action. The general knew SG-1 had some healing to do.

So he simply stood, nodded at Jack with what he hoped was an encouraging smile, and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Jack drew a breath and let it out slowly, looking at each of his team members – his friends – in turn. T didn't look any different than usual. Carter kept her eyes on the table, her expression hard to read. Danny was practically vibrating with nervous energy, but didn't meet his eyes either.

He took another breath.

"OK people. Those were a rough two weeks. I need you to think carefully about whether or not you still want to follow my lead. I suggest you take the weekend to make that decision. And on Monday I expect you to either report to me or ask for reassignment."

He rose from his chair. Daniel stared at him wide eyed.

"Jesus Jack. Did you just dismiss us?!"

"Yes, Daniel, I did."

The linguist pushed his chair back and stormed out of the room, the door banging shut behind him. Carter flinched and rose, too.

"Sir", she said with a nod – way too cool and way too formal for Jack's liking. She closed the door silently.

Teal'c stood and looked at Jack.

"I will not require the weekend to make this decision, O'Neill. There is none to be made. I always have and always will consider you my friend and my commander."

Jack let out a breath.

"Thank you, Teal'c."

"May I offer my advice, though?"

"Sure."

"I think MajorCarter and DanielJAckson might need convincing."

"T, I won't talk them into a team they don't wanna be part of. Nor will I beg."

"I meant to imply neither. But I think they might be waiting for you to take action. As their friend, not as their commander."

Jack hated it when T was right.

~o0o~

He turned up at Carter's door step an hour later. For a moment he thought she'd brush him off, but then she pulled herself together and asked him in. He decided to come straight to the point.

"Carter, I know you're pissed, but -"

"No, I'm not."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry sir. Didn't mean to interrupt you, sir."

"Oh for crying out loud, Carter, would you stop siring me and hear me out?"

She gave him a small smile.

"So, what I was trying to say was: I understand that you're pissed. I would be, too. But please try to see it from my point of view. I _couldn't_ tell you. Can you try and understand that?"

"I still think you could have told us. I was – hurt because you didn't trust us enough. I thought we were a team. We used to trust each other with our lives."

Used to. That hurt.

"I still do", he said softly. Sam deflated. He waited for her to say something, anything. But she didn't. When it became obvious that there was nothing she wanted to add he turned to leave.

"Think about it, Sam. I need you. On my team, I mean."

~o0o~

That had gone well...and he'd come to Carter's place first because he'd expected that conversation to be the easier one.

~o0o~

Daniel didn't even let him in. He just glared at him for a long moment, and then he said:

"Tell me the truth. Was your place really bugged?"

Jack had to break eye contact for a split second. It was enough of an answer for Daniel.

"Get out."

"You have to understand -"

"No. I don't. Get lost, Jack."

And the door closed in Jack's face. Damn the guy.


	2. Chapter 2

"Reporting as ordered, sir."

Jack looked up from his desk to find his 2IC standing at attention.

"Carter, I didn't -"

"Permission to speak freely, sir?"

Jack swallowed. Please don't say you want out of my team. He nodded. Carter relaxed into an at ease position and looked at him.

"I'm sorry, sir. Sorry for the way I treated you when you came to my house. Sorry for making that whole mission even harder on you than it must have been anyway. I still want to be part of your team. I've always trusted your command and that hasn't changed, sir."

Cheyenne Mountain was lifted from Jack's soul.

~o0o~

Sam and Daniel were having lunch together in the mess. The linguist was far from being OK with the fall out of Jack's under cover mission, so Sam tried her best to make him understand.

"It's who we are, Daniel. The colonel has been military all his life. Following orders is part of our nature."

"Yeah like Jack has ever been good at following orders."

Sam sighed.

"I'm not commenting on that."

Daniel leaned back and rested his hands on his head.

"I do understand the concept of a chain of command, Sam. I admit I'm glad that I don't have to follow orders, but I do understand what it means to you guys."

"So why are you so pissed about it?"

"Because it's about trust, Sam, and friendship. He was ordered not to tell us? OK fine I can live with that. But I'm pretty sure nobody ordered him to lie to my face."

"It was part of the -"

" _After_ the mission, Sam. He lied to me about his house being bugged."

Sam didn't know what to say. Why would the colonel do that?

~o0o~

Daniel burst through Jack's office door already fuming.

"OK, _Jack,_ what the hell were you thinking?"

"Daniel, we've been through this. I was under orders. End of discussion."

"No, Jack. You can't just shut me up the way you do with your subordinates."

"God help me Daniel sometimes I wish I could."

For a moment it worked. But Daniel just _had_ to know. He collapsed into the visitor's chair.

"Why lie to me after it was over, Jack?"

Daniel's low defeated voice was so much more painful than him yelling at Jack.

"I didn't, Daniel. I hadn't gotten the report back yet to say if the place was clean or not. That's what I wanted to tell you when you closed your front door in my face. I had to assume my house was bugged because it was a possibility that I had to take into consideration. I didn't mean what I said. None of what I said was the truth."

Jack sighed. Daniel looked at him, still tense, still frowning.

"I made the wrong call, OK? That whole thing – got to me. I might not have been thinking too straight."

Jack was almost sure he could see the tension leave Daniel's body. He went on, desperate to be open with his best friend this time.

"Would I have felt better if I'd been able to tell you? Hell yes! You think I liked being all alone in this? But the fact is I'm used to orders colliding with my comfort zone."

"You chose to ignore orders before. Why follow them this time?"

"Danny, seriously, you're way too emotional to play along with a plot like that, and you know it. Could you have guaranteed not to blow the cover?"

"You mean I'm not hardened enough?"

"Yes, Danny, that's what I mean, and it's a good thing, OK?"

They looked at each other, and this time Jack was _sure_ Daniel was starting to wind down. Jack let out a breath and sat back in his chair.

"Jack, please be honest with me. Did you not tell us because we were under suspicion?"

Jack's head snapped up.

"What? You wanna know if we suspected a member of SG-1 might be the mole?"

"Yes."

"Danny, I swear every oath you want me to I never for one second believed that."

"Did Hammond?"

"He asked me if I thought it was possible."

"And?"

"What?"

"What did you tell him?"

Jack started to smile. A real genuine smile, and Daniel thought he hadn't seen that in far too long.

"That I trust each and every one of you with my life, Daniel."

And SG-1 was back.


End file.
